I’m not just talking about masturbation (which will get a whole treatment from me in a latter post). I’m talking about intimately knowing your vagina.
Every vagina is different. Every single one. Different.. but they’re all special. Take the time to get to know yours.
Know what’s normal for you… your normal smell, what your vagina looks like when its happy, your normal discharges throughout your hormonal cycle, even your normal taste. Seriously.
This will help you to know when something is out of whack. Your vagina will give you signs that something is wrong, you just need to know what those signs are and how to react accordingly.
If you have not done this yet… get a mirror and a light that you can put near your vagina. Sit on a soft surface and open up. Examine the outside— the outer lips, inner lips, clitoris, hood, vaginal opening and perineum. Look at the color and the texture. See if you have any discharge present and note its characteristics. Healthy vaginae often have discharge— this is the way it keeps itself clean, lubricates itself and protects your internal reproductive organs from pathogens.
A rough guide for what is healthy and what might be signs of a problem:
Healthy discharge:
Can look clear, cloudy or milky. White to pale yellow in color. Sometimes brown right after your period (this is residual menstrual fluid). It can be creamy, liquid or mucosal (like when you have a runny nose, or the consistency of egg whites). It can be odorless to having a fairly strong but musky odor.
Remember that your discharge can change depending on your hormonal cycle (especially around ovulation) and when you’ve had recent sexual contact and pregnancy.
Most times, this discharge should not create discomfort or irritation
Signs there might be a problem:
Discharge that appears green and frothy, brown with a strong odor, or thick and cottage cheese like. If there is itching or burning present and if the vagina and inner lips appear red and irritated/inflamed.
The key to caring for yourself is knowing yourself. Take the time to get to know your vagina. Name it, if you feel so inclined. But don’t ever be in a position where someone can tell you something about your vagina that you don’t already know.
Both The Guy and the Girl had life throw them some serious curve balls in the last couple of months and things are just starting to settle down… we all but abandoned you guys and for that we apologize.
We’re back though.
And we see that we have a SEA of questions to answer.
I’m not just talking about masturbation (which will get a whole treatment from me in a latter post). I’m talking about intimately knowing your vagina.
Every vagina is different. Every single one. Different.. but they’re all special. Take the time to get to know yours.
Know what’s normal for you… your normal smell, what your vagina looks like when its happy, your normal discharges throughout your hormonal cycle, even your normal taste. Seriously.
This will help you to know when something is out of whack. Your vagina will give you signs that something is wrong, you just need to know what those signs are and how to react accordingly.
If you have not done this yet… get a mirror and a light that you can put near your vagina. Sit on a soft surface and open up. Examine the outside— the outer lips, inner lips, clitoris, hood, vaginal opening and perineum. Look at the color and the texture. See if you have any discharge present and note its characteristics. Healthy vaginae often have discharge— this is the way it keeps itself clean, lubricates itself and protects your internal reproductive organs from pathogens.
A rough guide for what is healthy and what might be signs of a problem:
Healthy discharge:
Can look clear, cloudy or milky. White to pale yellow in color. Sometimes brown right after your period (this is residual menstrual fluid). It can be creamy, liquid or mucosal (like when you have a runny nose, or the consistency of egg whites). It can be odorless to having a fairly strong but musky odor.
Remember that your discharge can change depending on your hormonal cycle (especially around ovulation) and when you’ve had recent sexual contact and pregnancy.
Most times, this discharge should not create discomfort or irritation
Signs there might be a problem:
Discharge that appears green and frothy, brown with a strong odor, or thick and cottage cheese like. If there is itching or burning present and if the vagina and inner lips appear red and irritated/inflamed.
The key to caring for yourself is knowing yourself. Take the time to get to know your vagina. Name it, if you feel so inclined. But don’t ever be in a position where someone can tell you something about your vagina that you don’t already know.
Get in touch with yourself.
This has been an announcement by the Society for Self Love and Appreciation.
Get in touch with yourself, dammit!
**warning: this post describes the use of marijuana during sex. If that is bothersome to you, stop here, close the window, throw this post in Tumblr Savior. The rest of you…. here we go.**
I love how it feels between your eager lips. Its like the green goddess has you seeking the forgivness of every sin between my thighs. As you lick, nibble and suck I can see the movement of my clit in your hungry mouth to the prayers you eat into me.
Each wave of pleasure racks my body, springing me from the mattress and throwing me back down. One, two, three, four, five… and I lose myself in the feeling and lose count. I’m so gone, the persistent and pleasant dullness in my head keeps distractions at bay. The only thing registering is the way you make my thighs tremble.
Then one finger… then two rubbing the in of me and making me call out to you. My mind is filled with visions of the graphic, mechanical movement of your flesh, against my flesh. Coaxing neurons to fire, muscles to clench moans to escape my lips. And then… the world goes blindingly bright. I’m flying.
“What do you want next, Birthday Girl?”
Gasping for air I use the back of my leg to guide your body upwards. You leave my leg on your shoulder and force my other thigh against the bed. And then you are in me… and I scream for you to go harder… faster. You grip my ankle so hard that it hurts while testing the limits of my side lotus. You make me feel you deep in my chest.
I’m singing the song you are conducting inside of me. Your baton strokes are masterful, forceful, deliberate and precisely placed. The crescendos wash over our ears— I forget the voice is my own. Its deep and gutteral and vibrates the window pane.
As you fill me, you deftly exit, and grab one of my sad substitutions for you. You know I’m far from finished as you manifest magic in my darkness. In and out at an almost ungodly speed, you pull more songs out of me. I can feel the water rising as the dam bursts… first in your hand and then your eager mouth.
“If you were thirsty, you should have told me,” I smile.
One last gentle suck on the small soldier at attention forces me into splendid, stuporous silence. A happy pile of freshly fucked flesh.
Happy Birthday to me.
AnonymousThis is probably one of the most serious questions we’ve ever received here. First, let me assure you that your feelings of hesitation are correct. It’s okay to feel hesitant. You just got some news that has changed both of your lives forever: hers obviously because of the HIV, yours because of the choice you are about to make.
Be her friend, most of all
Oh Dearheart, I’m sorry we didn’t get to your question before today… this is truly a difficult situation.
You are stuck in that place where you care deeply for a person, but sexual intimacy can put YOUR life at risk. I’m going to approach this from a clinical point of view….
First of all, your situation isn’t hopeless. It is scary and it is your choice. CHOICE. Choose what you are going to do and make a clear headed informed decision.
There are people who have intimate sexual relationships where one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative… and remains negative. It can be done and all hope is not lost. It just requires extra care, being careful each and every time you have sex, and making sure the HIV positive partner is on anti-retorviral therapy and is taking them correctly to reduce their viral load.
That being said, there’s still a risk involved, and you have to decide if being sexually intimate and the risks are something you are comfortable with.
No matter what, don’t abandon her. HIV has a stigma attached and disappearing from her life can take a terrible toll on her (and you) emotionally and psychologically. Be there for her no matter what.
If you choose to take your relationship to the physical level, do your research, create a plan and follow it to the letter… and remember to keep loving each other. Remember that intimacy isn’t always physical.
~The Guy and The Girl.
“Intimacy is not purely physical, it’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply you feel like you can see into their soul.” I ran across this quote earlier and it made me reflect on how strong of a need to connect with someone is in my life. I crave having a partner in my life who feels confident enough to share all his secrets with me, who can tell me his dreams and fears, who can cry and know that I’ll hold him and love him. It reminded me of a story I wrote about a couple who open up and share their sexual secrets with one another and how it creates a deeper bond. Check it out and tell me what you think.
